Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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