zippers are such a cool invention
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
