I'm going to jail i love you
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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