I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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