I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Randomize
