A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
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