What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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