I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Randomize
