we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
