wake up i wanna do it froggy style
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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