Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
