She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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