I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
