Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
