i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
