I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
