Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
