he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
