i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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