Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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