She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
