Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize