Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I am one with the molecules
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
