I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
