to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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