so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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