You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
