If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
be right there i have to get my cape
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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