Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
so let's talk penis.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
