I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
