So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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