I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
