Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
