Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
