a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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