I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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