arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
this is an emotional support booty call
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
