I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize
