doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
