She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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