i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Vodka?
Forever.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
