Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
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