Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
