hotel room ftw
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
