Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
