I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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