Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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