i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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