So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
