She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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