you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
