Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize