Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
