Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize