In America we eat man semen.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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