Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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