Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
