Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
