new low.... made out with someone while peeing
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
