I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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