I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
